I. In Utero
1. When your mother was pregnant with you, morning sickness was most aggravated by:
TV Sporting Events
2. During her pregnancy, your mother most craved:
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Granola and soy milk served in a handmade ceramic bowl from Guatemala, bought to help the United Grapeworkers Union.
3. Of your birth, you remember:
The light at the end of the tunnel
Thinking "Oh my God, I am never going to do this when I grow up."
II. The Childhood Years
4. When playing house, you were:
The idiot son, Doug
Betty, the beautiful and popular daughter
Daddy, with the girlfriend on the side at the "house" down the street
5. When choosing up sides for sports, you were:
Behind the wall with Betty from "playing house"
6. When picking out stories for "current events," you chose:
Stories of great political import
"Lost Puppy found in well" stories
Feminists protesting various misogynistic cultural events
7. On graduating, your principal said you had a future filled with:
A happy marriage
A great career
Various female "roommates" and a cat named Gertrude
III. High School/College
8. At dances, you were:
DJing/playing with your band, Black Reign
Drinking vodka in the schoolyard with the football team
Playing poker in the cafeteria
Sneaking up to the science lab with the new cheerleader
9. Which character from 90210 were you most like?
10. In college, you were active in:
Stop Rape Now
Divestment from South Africa
Queer Nation (but only as a "civil rights" issue)
11. Your best friends were:
Phi Gamma guys
Your sorority sisters
The girls from the field-hockey team
12. Two-part question:
Did you ever attend a sorority party?
If so, which of the following statements best sums up your experience?
"God, it's amazing how there's a direct correlation between blonde hair and IQ."
"I don't know about your pledging; we tend to have very high standards here at Tri Delta."
"I cannot believe one small girl could drink that much."
"Oh, God, I never knew it could be like this with a woman!"
13. You majored in:
14. Your first job was working as a:
Clerk at the local health food co-op
15. Your favorite night spot is:
I don't go out -- I'm spiritual
16. When you rent movies with a new friend, the first thing you watch together is:
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Walk on the Wild Side
17. Which character are you most like on Melrose Place ?
The blonde one who's so boring, no one can remember her name anyway
18. You were rooting for:
Anyone in the short track speed-skating competition
19. Your favorite sport is:
Synchronized swimming-team event
Watching Gabrielle Reese in those Nike ads
20. Complete this sentence: "My ideal relationship is best embodied by":
Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir
Gertrude and Alice
Beavis and Butthead
k.d. and Martina